CATCH THE BLAST OF A HYPE VERSE

My glock bursts, leave in a hearse, I did worse
I come rough, tough like an elephant tusk
Your head rush, fly like Egyptian musk





Is it summer outside? I swear it is. 40 degrees at this point has become my dream, my heaven.

The fog this morning was surreal. Driving to work, at time you could see only 10 feet ahead. Objects along the road would suddenly jump out at you. It would have been an ideal time for some sort of ambient chillout or radiohead but of course I only have radio, so it was Free Beer and Hot Wings for me. Funny enough, but not necessarily situation appropriate.

I'm listening right now to Cibo Matto. I don't like it very much, but it makes me feel like I'm hip even though it's from 1997. Yeah.

So I have a new job, and it's good so far. It's full time, but the duration is not set in stone. I have been guaranteed a month, sort of as a test period for both me and my boss, but he has expressed interest in a long term commitment. It's good pay, especially compared to my last gig, but it is a much longer commute, which has it's positives and negatives. Rockford is nice, but I would rather work downtown. GR's not a big metropolis, but it's something, and I'd like to take advantage of that. We'll see how it goes.

I'm getting excited for warm weather activities: disc golf, bocheeee ball, camping, outdoor soccer, softball, aud's pool, the beach, walking.

I also really really want to actually get a sweet moped to buzz around on this summer. Nothing fancy, nothing powerful, just a little guy. That's not to say I wouldn't take a bigger bike if the opportunity arose. If I don't go vintage, I want this:




(Bring da motherfuckin' ruckus...)

I'M ALWAYS LOOKIN' UNDER SOME GIRL'S DRESS

Cause some ducks wanna put me to rest
Now I'm a soldier in your town drinkin' Butterfly Snapple
I walk around town passin' out poison apples.





I don't have pics of the trip, so you'll have to deal with the text version. Here's the quick synopsis:

> Leave Grand Rapids early (1:30ish) in anticipation of snowstorm on the way to the Chi, even though plane isn't leaving 'till 8PM Chitime.

> Get to Midway at 4PM Chitime. Drink, play Egyptian Ratscrew, drink more, smoke, drink. Board plane. Drink.

> Arrive in Minneapolis to -20 windchills, get picked up by a large trucck driven by John Schoon, later to be named THUNDERTHIGHS (thetruck, not schooner)

> Drink.

> Order Galactic Pizza which is delivered at 3AM bya man in a helmet that was supposed to be in a Superhero suit. His response to our incredulity: "Cold is bad for superheroes' souls." Or some stupid shit like that.

> Sleep on air mattresses filled by hairdryer, so buttt touches ground.

> Wake up, and go to Uncle Doug's house and have delicious pullerd pork, and are entertained by Saski-something, who regales us with stories of SEA-MEN, DRYMOUTHING, and UNFINISHED BUSINESS.

> Go home, plan to go see Mary Tyler Moore's house, and the Bob Dylan exhibit, choose instead to lounge around and go to Trader Joe's, then begin to drink. EAT SPAGHETTI + MEATBALLS.

> Realize it's Mark's bday, go to bar, get really wasted, cbegin absurdly ssexual conversations whilst drunk (mostly propogated by schooner), centering around masterbatoriums (as explained by schooner... don't ask)

> Go to bed at 6AM. Say goodbye to Schoon and THUNDERTHIGHS at 10AM.

> Sleep.

> Wake up somewhere around 2PM, make food,, go to Urban Outfitters, watch SuperBowl, attempt to drink, fall asleep.

> Wake up, go to airport, temp is 7degrees. PS night before windchill was -45. Yeah.

> At some point we talked to Kim..

> Get on plane, plane takes off, doesn't go very high, find out PLANE IS BROKEN. Girls hold hands, prepare for death. This section of the story will vary depending oon who tells it, but don't be surprised if at some point, the wings are rumored to be on fire.

> Land back in Minneapolis. Drink. Get back on plane 4 hrs. later... 3 of us are quite toasted, the other (me) must refrain because there is BLACK ICE on the road home.

> Land in Chitown. Remark that suddenly 15 degrees feels kind of warm. Almost balmy.

> Drive through somewhat bad conditions, watching out for BLACK ICE and wishing I was drinking or in Costa Rica.

> Get home. Have beer. Sleep.


OK that was kind of long. I wish I could illustrated it with photography, but alas...

THANKS EM AUD DEEJ FOR BEING THE BESTEST TRAVELFRIENDS EVER. THANKS MARKISSON SCHUIPERS FOR A DAMN GOOD TIME AND BEING GRACIOUS HOSTS. OH AND SCHOON FOR BEING SCHOON.


Kim asked me WTF was with this "weird new format" I'm using. Frankly, I'm trying to be cool, mysterious, etc. and I'm kind of ripping off other people. The lyrics thing I stole from SPIN magazine... they used to (maybe still do) print an unattributed lyric on the spine of the mag. The song is what's stuck in my head (cause there's always something) or a song that really got me going that day or recently. The random pic is kinda how I very vaguely illustrate the post. If I could capture the post in a pic, that is the pic. The style is totally stoelen from FreeDarko, which is way to cerebral even for me, but it makes me feel smart. And I like pictures and basketball.

That's the story, folks. As usual, trying to be cool and failing.


Also, finally... the early nineties are back:

etc.

The commercial is good, I think. I like the song, but most songs sound good when they're on a an iPod commercial. It reminds me of Deej from Full hHouse's sheets. I only remember that cause I had the same ones. Yeah you know it.